What is the role of the father?

This has been a question of my interest for a while.

The role of the father is neglected, or in best cases, minimized. Yet, the studies show that fatherless children or children with nonpresent fathers have much higher chances for violent behavior, being involved in misconduct, and ending up in prison.

The father’s role is to provide the feeling of safety and acceptance of who we are. Present father will mirror us and open our hearts to the world and others.

The father is the first figure outside of us, as we are one with our mother in the first stages of our lives. How the father treated us will affect our worldview and expectation of others towards us and us towards others.

The father’s job is to teach us to lead from the heart and be ourselves. His job is to see us, listen to our dreams, encourage us and be present for us. Fathers show us to instinctively and spontaneously respond to others.

In the child’s eyes, the father is brave and can conquer the world; thus, the father shows and ingrains bravery in us.

For me, the inner father presents action, direction, courage, excitement, and stamina. And the inner mother is soft, gentle, nurturing, receptive, and gives a life direction from a different place—a place of peace, receptivity, and wise doing. The inner mother says you are more than enough, and the father is accepting; however, he encourages you to go out into the world and make dreams a reality.

Regardless of how our fathers showed up for us, we can heal the father wound and give ourselves what we need.

To be our own father means supporting the rhythm of our hearts. It means following our hearts and dreams and being our own biggest support. It means building a feeling we are welcome to this world as we are.

What the healthy (inner) father will tell us:

💪🏼You can do it.

☁️I find your dreams very interesting.

✨I accept you as you are.

🌤I see and respect your feelings.

👨🏼I am here for you.